Tags: life

[Gerard Butler] ♥

Having thoughts....

"why does it makes me feel like as if I want to escape from everything?"

This question---cold as an ice, deep as an ocean, and pointed as knife--hung in mid-air. My psychologist and professor doc. Trinidad stared at me in which I can say was apologetic. Anyway please do not think that I have lost my mind which I really not. Like what I have posted in my previous entry, something happened which is quite complicated and long if I'll say, but everything's all right now... well that's what I can think of now.

Have you ever felt that need of wanting to get away from everybody and that as if you want you own space for peace of mind? I do. Desperately wanted to have it.

Anyway when doc. Trinidad asked me why I wanted to run away I just told her that "it's just because reality was so cruel that makes me want to run" she actually thought that I was coward in facing it. But then I wondered if I was coward, I nearly considered it. But then when I tried to think about my real reason why I wanted to run, it came to me that "it wasn't that I'm coward, I guess I wanted to understand how life works and how merciless reality is, I want to escape so I can contemplate about it. The point is I wanted to have an equal balance if we're (reality and I) in a scale and the only way to get an even weight is to understand it." My idea is here I want to have my own space so I could contemplate in understanding it.

"Life's tough" by the way was the last statement I had in my mind. It was a long talk, I'll post about it next time.

When I left doc. Trinidad's office and I was able to contemplate about it for an hour, I decided that. If life's tough then I'll be tougher, if not... I guess I need a way to break through its barriers, and if I lost along in the progress well I can say atleast I fought. Üü

--- * * * ---

Let's just skip that drama. Though it wasn't really a drama after all..

My golly I'm really going to love baseball now. I swear I really freakingly enjoyed it. I love how the anticipation feels. The feeling when I hit the ball with my bat. The shared laughter. Oh reminds me of sweet sport days of mine... ♥

here's some pictures anyway.

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